Your heart is the light of this world. Don’t cover it with your mind. – Mooji
This is the last week we spend this year on Everyday Mindfulness, Step 2 in the Freedom from Chronic Stress Program, and I’ve barely scratched the surface.
Mindfulness is learning how to be present – to pay attention to what is happening now – with your joy, pain, anger, grief, love, exhaustion, boredom, relationships, work, and life.
So often we are caught up in ‘doing’ and on to ‘what’s next’ we miss out on the richness and beauty of life. By being pre-occupied with the future, the past, work, and what’s happening over here and out there, we numb our pain and miss important lessons life needs us to learn for our growth and evolution.
Life is always calling you home.
There are so many teachings I wish I could share with you. There are so many experiences I wish you could taste so I decided to write a few short lessons to consider.
If we had more time or we worked together one on one, you would learn some of these teachings. Some of them though, I cannot teach you. Some of them, no one can teach you. You have to experience it yourself.
My wish is that you learn to recognize when external voices are driving your behavior and belief systems…to be comfortable being quiet and still with yourself…to question what is really true in your life…and to start listening to the still voice that always speaks with love.
As we keep learning and practicing together, here are
10 MINDFULNESS LESSONS I CANNOT TEACH YOU
- Accept the negative. You don’t like to feel bad. You want it to go away. I hear that. But negative experiences and “negative” feelings like frustration, disappointment, anger, guilt, jealousy, sadness, fear, and loneliness will never permanently go away. Welcome your negative experiences and emotions with open arms. By accepting and embracing negative emotions, you can offer them love by welcoming them and accepting them first. “It’s OK to feel this way,” goes a long way toward neutralizing pain.
- Peace is not something you achieve. People are struck with the calmness of monks. You say, ‘I want that.’ Peace is possible, but it’s not something you achieve. I’m not a monk, but I do experience quite a bit of peace. It’s not because I meditate X number of hours a week. I experience peace because I’ve gone to the end of my pain and realized it’s insignificance. Peace is possible when you have the courage to face yourself – again and again – without attaching a sense of specialness to pain.
- Beware of seductive and dogmatic teachers. When you are ready to try a new way (which is awesome), you become vulnerable to another’s leadership (which is also OK, just stay awake). Always hold dear the mindfulness pillar that you are the master of your experience – not the guru, not the author, not the coach, not the teacher. Always reflect, ‘Is this true for me? Is this kind?’ Words are not someone’s truth. 100000 followers is not someone’s truth. How someone makes you feel is not someone’s truth. When it comes to people, behavior is the truth.
- You have to learn to sit with discomfort. Mindfulness and meditation are not about shutting away all things unpleasant, checking out, and tuning into peace. If anything, mindfulness and meditation will bring up all your crap, especially at first. If the way you’re operating isn’t working for you, you have to learn to tolerate the discomfort of what is before anything can transform. Learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. This is where the juice of peace is. Sorry yo, you can’t skip this one.
- Put down the book and start experimenting and experiencing. My life has been positively influenced by many great books by wonderful teachers, but reading will not increase your ability to be present. Put down the book, close the internet article, go sit and be still. If you can’t or don’t want to sit, try walking meditation. Or even better than meditation many times is to practice an act of restraint. Experiment and don’t verbally complain for one week. Experiment by not giving your opinion to your partner for one week. Spend 24 hours in total silence. Refrain from verbalizing negative comments for one month. Give money when you are asked for two weeks. Try experiments like this, and you will be led from the unreal to the real.
- Stop looking for a retreat-like experience. I’m all for retreat. I even think I’ll offer one in the upcoming year, but don’t become a retreat junkie. Retreat is not separate from your real life. Your real life is not separate from retreat. If you find yourself wishing ‘real life’ could be more like yoga camp, nature camp, meditation retreat, or girls-night-out, it’s time to start looking within and asking some powerful questions that will steer you toward living your truth in everyday life.
- You can’t be someone’s savior. It’s common for those who experience meaningful shifts from mindfulness to want to share it with others. Feel free to share, and always discern what is appropriate to share. You can’t save someone else’s life. You can only save your own.
- Mindful living takes courage. It’s not for the faint of heart. Pretty self-explanatory, especially if you are implementing the 7 pillars of mindfulness…you can’t wait for courage to show up though. That will never happen. Fear and doubt are part of the process. Sit with the discomfort of taking action. All courageous people have a lot of fear…that’s what makes them courageous.
- You are not defective. You are already whole. I wish I could teach you this, but I can’t. You have to experience it yourself. Your heart can be broken, your body can have a disease, your mind can be disturbed, but you are already whole. Right now and forever.
- Your true nature is love. I wish I could teach you this too, but I can’t. Your true nature does not need correction or punishment. Your true nature is not sinful or ugly. Your true nature is love. With continued mindfulness and meditation practice, you experience clear sight to see what is real, to experience your true identity. Love.
As we close Step 2 for now, Everyday Mindfulness, I have a wish for you.
The Sanskrit translation for true identity is Sat Nam.
My wish for you is Sat Nam, friend. Sat Nam.
Let the heart lead the way,
Angela
