“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I’d like to see you in better living conditions.” – Hafiz
This year I am excited to guide you through a meaningful journey.
A journey through the 5 steps of my Freedom from Chronic Stress Program.
You start with Step 1 – Anchor Your Vision and Values.
If you were to name the top 3 values that are important in your life, what would you name?
Peace…Balance…Family…
Beauty…Faith…Nature…
Intellect…Freedom…Kindness…
Do your actions, speech, and attitudes consistently align with what is most important to you?
If you answered 100% yes, awesome.
If you are like most people, it can be a challenge to consistently honor what is most important to you.
If you are not living in your values, you will consistently experience life as stressful.
It’s the New Year. You set out with a fresh start and good intentions.
But often progress is inconsistent and short-lived.
Change IS possible.
Your mind, heart, and body all play a role in how likely you are to transform.
Let’s start with your brain.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CHANGE
image courtesy of renjith krishnan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Often called the triune brain, your brain has 3 generalized areas.
- brainstem – focused on survival only – am I alive or dead?
- limbic system – focused on emotion, memory, and regulating arousal
- neocortex – focused on thinking, making meaning of experiences, and learning
When you make a change, here is how these three areas respond:
Neocortex enthusiastically says, ‘Hoorays! I am very curious about that. That sounds good, and I’d love to learn and try something new. It will benefit me greatly!’
Brainstem says, ‘No way! Change is dangerous, and you haven’t done that before. I am here to keep you alive. Best to stick with what you’ve experienced, even if it sucked, because I know we can survive that.’
Limbic System says, ‘Let me flood you with emotions of fear and anxiety. I need to alert you of the potential danger!’
Neocortex then rationalizes the emotion. Maybe says, ‘I don’t need to change. Things aren’t that bad.’
Or maybe says, ‘I can do it anyway. Just do it. Make a plan. Set goals. Small achievable steps.’
This willpower approach lasts oh, a few days to a few weeks.
And then plop.
You are back where you started.
So many facets at play.
That pesky brainstem. How dare it try to always keep me alive?!
Doesn’t it know that vegetables, the elliptical machine, leaving work on time, and receiving love won’t kill me?
Um, no.
Not if your neurological wiring and imprints have less than ideal operating systems and beliefs.
Your brainstem and limbic system have developed a strong network to try to keep you safe.
To help you feel loved. To keep a sense of belonging.
EVEN if it is extremely f’d up.
Your lower region brain centers operate like this:
‘Whatever I have survived is worth repeating.’
Even if what you’ve survived is traumatic, hurtful, and painful.
If you have survived the hurtful experience, the brainstem concludes you can survive it and it must be safe and worth repeating.
Even if it feels terrible!!!
But you’re not screwed.
All of this really can change.
It begins with compassionate awareness.
It’s important to develop self-awareness of your brain’s survival mechanisms that hinder OR support desired change.
Compassionate awareness is a skill you can learn to observe these 3 patterns necessary for transformation:
- thought patterns (I’m not good enough. People will laugh. It’s not possible. It’s too expensive.)
- behavior patterns (notice what conditions are present when you succeed and when you don’t)
- body’s physiological responses (tight jaw, soft belly, cold hands, shoulders raised or lowered)
If you don’t have compassionate awareness of your personal patterns, it will always be difficult to change.
In my private coaching and Freedom from Chronic Stress Program, my clients get awesome results because our work combines a mind, behavioral, and body approach.
my amazing clients!
When you develop awareness of your patterns, you create a gap – a space – between you and the dysfunction.
You learn to observe your brainstem’s activity instead of BE your brainstem’s activity.
Apply compassion, and you bring softness and love instead of judgment to your experience.
Then you can make a discerned choice from a higher place of consciousness.
Just as poet Rumi says, ‘The hurt you embrace becomes joy. Call it to your arms where it can transform.’
Transformation does not happen through bullet points.
Transformation does not happen through goal setting, making a decision, intentions, or affirmations.
Transformation happens through mindful awareness, self-discovery, and by experiencing positive emotions when your actions align with your values.
I want you to experience freedom from the limitations of your brainstem!
You are bigger than your brainstem.
Learn how to BE the change you desire instead of spinning in goal-setting cycles that do not work.
This does not happen overnight. It takes time, attention, and is a moment-to-moment practice.
‘Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I’d like to see you in better living conditions.’ – Hafiz
Stop Looking Outside and Look Within,
Angela
