‘Innate trust is based on the understanding that if you live mindfully moment-to-moment and have the intention to act according to your VALUES even in difficult or confusing situations, your life will unfold in the most harmonious manner possible.’ – Phillip Moffitt
In the winter of 2006, I attended my first yoga class.
I loved that yoga provided a deep connection to my spirit but hated the body awareness that every cell in my body felt like it was on fire.
I was instantly intrigued and knew yoga was something I wanted to explore.
Through this exploration, I became exposed to a life-changing concept:
View my life as a practice, not a destination.
Prior to this time, I was always goal focused.
Do and achieve to experience an outcome.
If the outcome is not achieved, try harder. Do more.
But this way of living never lent itself to peace.
As soon as one thing was accomplished, the moment faded and I was on to the next big thing.
I never experienced lasting peace.
But as I engaged in mindfulness and yoga teachings, I experienced the liberation of action for action’s sake.
Relinquish the hope of a desired outcome and I reduce my self-inflicted suffering.
Don’t base happiness on the end result, and guess what happens?
Peace.
So I started to shift my perceptions, actions, and emotions toward the concept of living my life as a practice of my values, not a goal-focused destination.
So often we create goals and take action based on the wrong question.
If you want to experience peace, asking, ‘What do I want?,’ is the wrong question.
When you think of your life vision in terms of what you want, you often think of material things or how you want other people in your life to be different.
This is a trap and lends you a victim to external circumstance.
To live your life as a practice of peace and contentment, ask this question instead:
- What value will I practice?
It’s a moment to moment practice.
It requires awareness and personal responsibility.
Let’s look at an example with a relationship with an intimate partner.
If you ask, ‘What do I want?…’
You may say I want my partner to express his/her feelings, to be financially responsible, and to stop being so critical.
But if you stop looking outside and look within, the framework changes.
Ask yourself instead, ‘What will I honor in my relationship?‘
Maybe it’s honesty, quality time together, and appreciation.
Do you see how shifting the question from ‘what do I want’ to ‘what will I honor’ shifts the paradigm from being other and outside focused to one based on self-awareness and personal responsibility?
It becomes values based instead of outcome driven.
It requires you to stand in your values, not hoping the other person or circumstance will change.
Here is another example.
Let’s take the vision of what you desire in your career.
If you ask, ‘What do I want?,’ you may say…
I want to make more money. I want my co-workers to stop being annoying, and I want to be assigned projects I care about.
But if you ask, ‘What values will I honor as I go about my career?,’ you may honor creativity, making a difference, or standing in your worth.
Asking, ‘What value am I practicing right now?’ creates a life connected to your heart and aligned with what is most important to you.
Living in your values is the antidote to autopilot living that fuels chronic stress.
Your core values are the ideals, traits, principles, or characteristics that are most important to you.
Your core values do not come from the voice of someone else – like your parents or an authority figure.
Your core values come from the heart of you.
Your core values feel uplifting when you bring them to heart and mind. They are not what you ‘should’ want to honor.
Your core values bring a sense of spaciousness and lightness in your chest and a smile to your face.
Narrow your core values down to three.
Avoid generalities like happiness or family. It needs to be specific.
My core values are truth, stillness, and freedom.
Once you’ve identified 3 values, name how you can honor these values in one of the following areas:
- a personal relationship (be specific – name one person)
- your emotional well-being
- physical environment (the space you live in)
- your career/professional development
If you are constantly stressed, frustrated, or discontent, ask, ‘What value am I practicing?’
By living your life as a practice of your values instead of a destination, peace is possible.
View it as an experiment and see what unfolds!
Have you experimented living this way? If so, leave a comment below, I want to hear!
Stop Looking Outside and Look Within,
Angela
