Enjoy!
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Last week, I received a surprising email from a reader in response to an email campaign I’d sent out entitled: “Be Exceptional.”
“Hi Mitch,” wrote Jane, “I would like some guidance on being ordinary. I think being ordinary is under-rated. I’ve also found that being exceptional is not only unnecessary, but also very tiring.
“So many woman are caught in a mindset of being exceptional. Somehow, they got confused. When told, ‘You can do anything,’ they heard, ‘You have to do everything.’
“In all my years of working with people, I’ve never heard anyone say they wished they’d achieved more, worked more, or tried harder. Their regrets are about missing out on family time, not pursuing other interests, and giving up so much. There is so much pressure to achieve and progress, and not enough time to be still enough, for long enough, to know what’s really important. I see it in my daughters—ages 26, 28 and 29—and their friends.
“Sometimes it’s not about putting the foot on the brake or the gas pedal—it’s about noticing you’re on the wrong road, going in the wrong direction, or even sitting in the wrong car.”
Jane makes a very valid and valuable point.
“I know ordinary and extraordinary quite well,” I wrote her in my reply, “and one is definitely more exhausting than the other! I think we all go through periods of pushing harder, and not as hard, on the gas pedal, in the name of juggling our career and personal ambitions.
“I’ve done a lot of coasting, or being ordinary. I have two kiddos, aged 8 and 4, and until recently, it was all I could do to simply juggle everything in a way that felt relatively sane and satisfying.
“When I was launching WiRL one and a half years ago, one of my best friends called me and said, “Mitchie, right now I do not consider myself an ‘aspiring’ professional; I’m exactly who WiRL isn’t for.” I admitted to my friend that a mere 6 months prior, I could never have predicted that I’d feel compelled to do something so big, so complex and so… exceptional.
“We’re all ordinary in our own way—and exceptional in our own way, too. I think these periods of intermittent coasting followed by periods of pushing hard on the gas are what life is all about.
“So Jane, this is my very long winded way of saying 1) thank you for your email and 2) trust yourself. That’s my only guidance. If it feels like it’s time to be ordinary, then that’s what you should be. Being happy is what matters. I was really happy with my foot off the gas… until I wasn’t. I knew then that it was time to do extraordinary things and be exceptional. And you’re right, it’s exhausting, but in the finest of ways.”
I’m so grateful that Jane took the time to write me and raise this very important topic. And, as always, I’m curious to hear your thoughts. Are you coasting? Cruising? Accelerating? Most importantly, are you happy?
Don’t forget to slow down every once in a while and, like Jane sagely suggests, make sure you’re on the right road, going in the right direction, and sitting in the right car!
