This week marks the one year mark of me saying bye-bye-bye to my corporate job.
I left to pursue my passion for the healing arts and develop personal transformation programs for women.
I left a 10 year career at my previous employer, great benefits, and good pay. I left a stable company that was growing with fun, intelligent co-workers.
On the flip side, I could not get through corporate leadership meetings without tearing up. I would tilt my head right and then left to let the tears roll back in my eyes instead of falling down my face.
Why the tears?
Because of the woundedness I felt from my previous medical leaves. Because something far greater was awake inside me. Because I saw something different. Because what I had to offer had no framework to fit within the corporation’s scaffolding. Because I knew staying was a form of self-abuse. Because I felt like an alien. Because I had some big decisions to make.
But before I made the decision to leave, I made peace. In fact, I had made peace with ‘what is’ for several years before signing off.
I think this is important. Whatever I didn’t allow to heal, I knew would show itself again (and potentially in an even bigger way).
There’s nothing like dying to the ego to humble oneself, and that was my experience. (trust me, I still have an ego! :))
I had to let go of a lot to make peace. I’ll save stories for another time (or maybe not).
But the short of it is, I had to let go of:
- self-importance
- the need AND desire for others to care about me
- the belief that what I did mattered
- fear of not being protected by financial security
- and a few others…
I practiced living in neutrality.
I practiced living and working in the moment as best as I could. I practiced self-care. I practiced not responding to crazy.
I sat through the discomfort until I was able to discern the truth for myself.
And then I made the leap from a centered place.
So what is life like on the other side?
My hubs will tell you that my spirit is so much lighter. My peers in my craniosacral therapy training say they see the same. That ‘I’m blossoming.’
But that is not exactly my experience.
I don’t doubt their observations, but the biggest difference I notice within myself is a greater clarity to discern the truth. A more open heart. And to not be afraid to let go of false protections.
To loosen up even more.
It’s been helpful to have separation and step into the unknown. I’ve become even more aware of what I accommodate, tolerate, and value.
Am I glad I made the leap?
Yes. I am creating like never before. I have time each morning to start my day with a slow pace. I am opening up to big possibilities.
However, these things don’t make a life better or worse ‘on the other side.’
There is no magic in any decision. The magic is in the awareness that leads one to act on the decision.
With Love,
Angela
http://www.freedomfromchronicstress.com
