As we begin the journey in Letting Go What No Longer Serves (Step 4 in the Freedom from Chronic Stress Program), I have bunches I want to share.
But before I engage you in the deeper philosophical questions or your life (hee hee :)), there is a real practical and super helpful perspective that has helped me and my husband:
Cultivate and engage your strengths instead of trying to improve your weaknesses.
As a culture, I think we love to suffer.
We love to belabor and bemoan what we’re not good at, comparing ourselves to ‘successful’ people, and feel bad about our lack of innate gifts and ineptitudes.
This perseveration on our weaknesses certainly fuels a chronic stress mentality. It will take you straight to the crazy train. First stop = exhaustion. Toot toot!
Many of us work too hard trying to ‘fix’ ourselves…trying to be better to get a promotion, satisfy a partner who may never be satisfied, or fill a hole that was wounded by a criticism that really hurt.
But we’re focused on the wrong thing.
Instead of trying and failing to make yourself someone you are not, what if you cultivated your natural talents, gifts, and abilities?
If you did this, life would be easier. You wouldn’t bang your head against the wall so frequently. You’d enjoy your activities. You would move with the current instead of against it.
By engaging your function instead of dysfunction, you give yourself permission that something worthwhile doesn’t have to involve suffering. Boom! Are you ready for that?
Yes, this book is used in the corporate world, but it is totally on point. If you choose to purchase it, you take a cool quiz to identify your strengths instead of trying to sort that out on your own or relying on friends.
I’ve used my strengths (Intellect, Connectedness, Relator, Strategic, Empathy) along with my INTJ-ness (Myers Briggs Personality Type) to let go of the need to try to enjoy group activities (no thanks – I like one on one) and embrace that I prefer to go it alone.
Despite business coaches suggestions, I’ve stood tall in not watering down my message (I don’t do dumb) and used my connectedness and strategy to build an inclusive kick-ass coaching program.
My creative, writer husband has accepted his strength for quiet reflection may never suit the L.A. lifestyle of a hustling screenwriter.
And all of this is more than ‘just OK,’ it’s goooood!
Embrace that it is good to be you, to like what you like, to not like what you don’t like, and stop trying to fit a mold you were never made for.
Cheers to letting go of the relentless pursuit to make yourself someone you are not. Now that’s Freedom from Chronic Stress!
Ready To Not Fight Upstream,
Angela
