I frequently speak to professional women about how to be free of burnout and chronic stress.
Recently after a talk, I hung out for a while with a small group of professional women.
One woman shared that she is super productive and gets everything done on her list – calling clients, managing the books, completing the work project – except the things she wants to do for herself.
Like cook a nourishing meal.
Workout.
Read a book.
Cuddle with husband.
She asked, ‘How is it that I can get all my work done, but I can’t do the other things I want for myself?’
My response?
Maybe it’s not that important.
Women’s magazines tell us to take care of ourselves, ‘treat’ ourselves, know we are worth it. <some of this messaging panders to the bottom of the barrel – meaning it distracts you from the real problem that creates disconnection in your life – bleh>
The truth is that it takes a ton of energy to work full-time, navigate domestic responsibilities, and maintain important relationships.
Instead of adding something to your to-do list that’s something you are ‘supposed to do for yourself,’ evaluate if it is important right now.
Key words = right now.
Maybe the work project needs priority this week.
Maybe the kid is sick.
One of my yoga teachers, Don Stapleton, offers this insight, ‘Balance is never a fixed position but a fluidly moving interaction appropriate to the situation.’
Save yourself a lot of guilt and ‘I should be’ talk by doing what you need to do right now.
If you are CONSISTENTLY DISSATISFIED with how your spend your time and energy then yes, change is warranted and necessary.
But if you ARE SATISFIED in your relationships, your work, and your well-being, maybe what you think you should be doing is not that important, even if it is an act of self-care.
Give yourself permission to take care of what you need to do right now.
Because sometimes the nice to haves may not be that important…at least for now.
Stop Looking Outside and Look Within,
Angela
