One of the most effective ways to soften self-pressure and the relentless urge to always be doing something ‘productive’ is to learn to be gentle with yourself.
Being gentle with yourself is called self-compassion, and has substantial research that demonstrates this practice helps us be more resilient and tolerant of ourselves and others.
Self-compassion is not indulgent or lazy.
It’s kind.
But there’s a difference between self-compassion and a pep talk.
I recently watched a video of a well-known public figure offering a lesson on self-compassion, but it wasn’t self-compassion. It was a pep talk.
A pep talk is telling yourself things will work out. I’m a good person. I make meaningful contributions in the world. Stay positive. Look on the bright side.
Self-compassion touches the tenderness that things may not work out, and I’ll do my gentle best in the process. I open my heart to uncertainty. I messed up today, and I atone for my mistake with wisdom and grace. My emotions are strong, and it’s OK for me to feel this way.
Self-compassion opens the heart and mind by being tender with what hurts. A pep talk clings to what the ego needs to be true.
Can you feel the difference?
Look Within,
Angela
